Funny stories about cats and kittens

The saga of the hot cutlet

There lived a cat in one family. It would seem that there is nothing surprising here. An ordinary Vaska, a gray striped sly guy. But in addition to his natural cunning and cunning, he was also an inveterate thief. A trained eye noticed everything that was lying badly, tenacious claws grabbed the “prey”, and teeth quickly chewed the food trophy. All of the cat’s hunting trips took place approximately according to this pattern, usually taking place in the kitchen.

One fine day, the housewife decided to fry a cutlet - she made minced meat and started frying. Vaska, of course, was spinning under his feet. The woman was distracted from cooking by the doorbell. She rushed into the corridor to let her husband in, and without hesitation returned to the kitchen. I looked into the pan, and one cutlet was already missing. Looking menacingly at the cat and seeing the cute creature innocently looking straight into her eyes, she doubted. Well, the cat couldn’t swallow the hot cutlet so quickly. So where did she go?

And then the tailed actor began to squirm his butt on the floor in a strange way. Meowing loudly, he jumped up and ran into the corridor. It turns out that in order to hide the stolen cutlet, he simply sat on it - there was too little time for more complex maneuvers. But I didn’t calculate my strength - it turned out to be difficult to sit on the hot meat “bomb”.

Funny stories about cats.

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Hell of a sight.

A young couple purchased an electric fireplace for their home. This one is for the interior. It doesn't heat up, but it's beautiful. The fake coals are illuminated with red light, and a small flame smokes. All this is done so well that you can’t tell it from real coals until you try it with your hand. Artificial of course. In short, the sight was beautiful and calming. And it was, because their cat quickly realized that it was nice to lie on fake coals, they were warm, they were heated by light bulbs from below. And now imagine yourself in the place of the person who came to visit. Go into the room, and there, on the smoldering coals in the fireplace, the cat is roasting. Hell of a sight!

Emergency cat help.

They gave the schoolgirl a birthday present, her parents gave her an aquarium with fish, and her older brother gave her a kitten. Well, it turned out that they didn’t coordinate their actions. The kitten quickly settled into his new home and loved watching the fish. He could lie near the aquarium for hours without making any attempt to remove the fish from their habitat. Although I really respected fish in the form of food. One day the father of the family brought a catch from fishing. The fish is fresh, some are still fluttering. Large fish in a frying pan, and small fish, about the size of a finger, in a bowl for the cat. After some time, the owner enters the room with the aquarium, sees a couple of fish floating with their belly up and a kitten on the aquarium. The cat jumped to the floor and ran to the kitchen. The owner, of course, decided that the cat had opened the fishing season, following his example in the aquarium. He also ran to the kitchen for the prankster to punish and wean him off. And the kitten, running up to its bowl, grabs a small fish with its mouth, runs to the aquarium and throws it into the water. This is such an ambulance.

Cat and hot cutlet

My friends had a cat named Vaska. The thief is scary. One of those who will not miss what is theirs, especially if it lies poorly and lies unguarded. Somehow the hostess decided to roll up the cutlets and fry them. I minced the minced meat and began the process of frying the cutlets. The cat, of course, was hanging around in the kitchen. I waited until the cutlets started to lie badly. In short, the hostess was distracted by the doorbell. She quickly rushed into the hallway, let her husband into the house, and without hesitation returned to the kitchen. And he sees that in the bowl with just fried cutlets, one is missing. Vaska sits on the floor, faithfully and without wine looking into his eyes. The woman understands that he couldn’t eat a hot cutlet in a few seconds. While she was trying to figure out where he was taking her, the cat began to move its butt in an unnatural way. Then, barking loudly, he ran out of the kitchen. It turns out that he, without having time to hide the prey, simply sat on it. Yes, you can’t sit on a cutlet just removed from the frying pan for long.

Cat's happiness.

The cat came home in the morning, all dirty, tattered, his ear was torn. Mistress, immediately lubricate his wounds, fuss, take pity and kiss the poor fellow. And the husband looks at all this disgrace and says: “Well, why do you feel sorry for him and lament him?” The cat wandered around wherever he wanted all night, screaming songs and having sex. Then he fought for his own pleasure. Then he came home all satisfied and happy. I wish I could!!!

Cat without borders.

We bought a new apartment, well, not entirely new, a resale apartment. But the area is larger, closer to work. The former owners purchased housing using the same scheme. And in the same block, literally two houses away from us. Well, we moved, arranged the furniture, and celebrated. In the morning, the demanding cat meow wakes me up. I open my eyes, the cat is sitting next to the bed. Seeing that I woke up, he went straight to the kitchen. And he stops and looks around to see if I’m following him. She poured him milk and cut off some sausages. While I was performing all these actions, I woke up completely and asked the question - in general, where is the cat here from? We never had cats. When we moved into the apartment, there were naturally only bare walls. There is no place to hide. I looked at the door, it was closed. But the balcony was not closed at night, and apparently the cat climbed a tree growing next to the house and jumped from it onto the balcony. My husband and I decided that most likely this was the animal of the former owners. My husband called them and it turned out that way. The cat safely moved with them to a new living space, went for a walk in the evening, and returned to the old address in the morning. In general, the owners arrived and took their pet. Well, in the morning I was woken up again by the persistent meowing of the cat, and I realized that the cat was not going to move out.

Fire.

At the end of autumn, my daughter brought a kitten into the house. Red, fluffy and very nimble. Based on the totality of these testimonies, they called it Fire. It took about six months to realize that his name was not chosen well. Spring came, and the whole family went to the dacha. The cat immediately ran to explore the surroundings. By evening we were worried, the cat was missing, maybe it was lost. Everyone went together to look for him and call him. The cat came, but what was the reaction of the neighbors...

Compensation.

My neighbor in the country had a cat, Murzik. Quite healthy, but very lazy cat. He lived with her for eight years. In principle, I didn’t catch mice, well, I just didn’t catch one in my entire cat life. Like a good neighbor, he often came to visit me on the veranda. Of course, I caressed him, stroked him, scratched him behind the ear. And so we lived, season after season. But this summer there was a breakdown in our relationship with Murzik. I bought salmon, put it on the veranda and went into the house for something, I don’t even remember, and stayed late. I go out, and Murzik, the parasite, is already eating up this fish. By the way, in fairness, it should be noted that he had not been noticed for theft at all before. Well, of course I got angry and yelled at him. And he, with a very offended face, went to his area. About 20 minutes later the neighbor left the house. Well, I told her about Murzik’s tricks. The truth was no longer angry, so they laughed. And suddenly, my neighbor points behind my back and says, look, look. And there is Murzik, dragging a mouse into my area in his teeth. He came up, laid me at my feet and looked at me so disapprovingly. Like: “Choke on it, it was worth yelling!” His owner and I had a good laugh at his compensation. Well, only he doesn’t come to my station anymore, he doesn’t come to visit me, he’s severely offended. But I hope that it will go away.

Bruce Lee

Bruce Lee did not remember his childhood. And this is correct, since his childhood was difficult and full of adversity. At the age of about one and a half months, he was treacherously taken away from his own mother and taken to another family. But, despite these adversities, Bruce grew up as a strong guy, ahead of his peers in development. At the age of one, he weighed 14-15 kilograms, was not childishly smart and was about a meter tall, with a tail of course. I must say that Bruce is a cat, a cross between a Maine Coon and someone else. With increased fluffiness and impudence. Living with my friends, a married couple - Lyoshka and Lena. He received his nickname for his ability to use all four paws in battle. And also for the love of running on the carpet on the wall, curtains, jumping on the chandelier and other kung fu techniques. He ignored the cat's litter box, showing with all his appearance that he had long since outgrown the potty. I went strictly to the toilet. This, of course, does not equate him with people, but the fact that he sometimes forgot to pull behind himself is already human. The cat preferred to sleep in his “parents’” bed, right between them. And he didn’t care at all what they were doing there. And so, in the summer, when the cat was already one and a half years old, Lyoshka took him and Lena to the dacha. At the dacha, Bruce did not waste time. In just an hour, he explored his plot and the plots of his neighbors. In passing, he beat three neighbor cats, who considered themselves the rightful owners of the surrounding area. As the winner, he made a date with the former passions of these cats, devoured half of the fish stocks that were taken for him for a week and fell into bed on the master's bed. Having woken up at night and finding that the door was locked and the windows were closed, he began to demand freedom of movement. A cat-like scream, reproaching the owner for ruining his date. Lyoshka, who woke up, went to let out into the street “a lustful beast, the same as all the men,” according to the words of his awakened wife. The couple had just fallen asleep when they were awakened by persistent knocking on the door and the cat’s screams. Bruce asked to go home. Cursing and cursing the creature who clearly did not come to the date, “as unnecessary as all the women,” Lyoshka let the cat into the house. Bruce, according to a long-established habit, plopped down between his adoptive parents. - Where is this coming from? - Lena asked. Although where, or rather from whom and with what, it was clear. - Bruce probably joined somewhere, but not the Komsomol! - Lyoshka said and turned on the light. The word entered, however, just like got into trouble, clearly did not fit the given situation. The cat was lying on a snow-white sheet, covered to the very skin... with the very thing that stank. And, from the bed to the door there was a delicious chain of footprints, with a fat stripe from the tail. His habit of going to the toilet let him down. He fell into a hole in the country toilet of the toilet system. Well, at least you don’t drown, you fool. The next young family washed the bedding, floors and cat. I came to visit them a couple of days after these events. When Lyoshka told me this story, he sniffed the air all the time and periodically asked: “It smells, no?” No, it didn't smell anymore.

Is life not the same without a cat?

A friend asked me to stay with her for two weeks and look after her cat while she went on vacation. Oh, my friend’s cat turned out to be completely choleric. In the morning, leaving for work, I let Kuzya, that’s the name of this bandit, out onto the street. All day long, the cat amused himself by fighting all the yard cats and dogs. Regardless of their size and breed. When I returned from work in the evening, he was waiting for me at the door and with a loud meow, no, he didn’t ask, but demanded something edible. One day, I bought myself a box of dumplings, and this monster, smelling them, attacked the bag and began to devour the dumplings, gnawing through the bag and the cardboard box. And on the first day of my stay in a friend’s apartment, I made a mistake and decided to wash myself in the bathroom. As soon as she lay down in the foam, a wild roar was heard outside the door. And then, I made a second mistake, I opened the door. I couldn’t even understand what it was that flew into my bathroom and plopped into the water. I myself retreated from there in horror. Well, Kuzya frolicked and swam in the bathroom for another fifteen minutes. After this incident, I only took a shower. Before my friend returned from vacation, I, as expected, cleaned the whole apartment, licked it, one might say. But a pigeon sat on the railing of the balcony. This dinosaur, Kuzya, noticed the pigeon and decided to catch it, despite the closed windows, knocking out both windows with acceleration. And, when a friend asked me to look after her cat, I thought why her parents, sweet, good, wonderful and sympathetic people, outright refused this offer.

Buy food!

It so happened that we were covered, although not large, but still by a black financial streak. We decided to save a little money. And if you save, then save for everyone, including the cat. In general, we switched him from canned cat food to natural food. I filled his bowl with soup, even with meat. The cat looked disapprovingly at this, in his cat’s opinion of course, gastronomic perversion, then looked at me in surprise and said: “Meow.” Like: “Am I supposed to eat this?” I answered him: “Yes, eat this, there is no money for your canned food!” The cat “buried” its bowl in disgust and crawled under the sofa. A couple of seconds later, a coin worth ten rubles flew out from under the sofa, sent with a powerful blow from a cat’s paw.

Flying cat.

This story was told on some TV show. In short, in one village there lived a priest and he had a cat. And then one day the priest comes out of the house, and his pet is sitting on a tree. Either the dogs drove him in, or he himself, for some cat’s needs, climbed the birch tree - this, in general, is not the point and is important. Only the cat was screaming pitifully on the tree, but he refused to crawl down, he was afraid. With cats, this often happens. The compassionate father could not calmly wait for the cat to get tired of complaining about his fate and still come down to earth. Well, the priest didn’t think about the fact that no one had ever seen a cat’s skeleton on a tree. He decided to tie a rope to the tree and bend the birch tree with the help of a car, and then either the cat would jump off on its own, or he would take it off. That’s what I did, but the rope turned out to be thin and burst at the moment when the birch tree almost touched the ground. An excellent catapult came out. The cat disappeared behind the neighboring huts. And in this village lived a mother with a young daughter, who had long asked her parent to get a cat. And she still refused. And on this day, the child again started the old song about the need for a representative of the cat family to live in the house. And take your mother and blurt out: “And you, ask God, and if he gives you a cat, then so be it.” The girl, as best she could, let’s pray and ask God to send her a cat. And at that moment, the priest's cat flew into the window. The mother fainted, the cat was shocked but safe, the child was happy. And who, after this, can say that it was not God who sent her a cat?

New Year's traditions.

It just so happened that the New Year celebration was completely wrong, not in the Russian way, not traditionally. We sat decorously, peacefully, and drank a little. No one screamed songs, no banged firecrackers, and no one even fell asleep in the salad. Everyone left early, and no one went to the Christmas tree. Well, I went and went to bed. My wife and I did not clear the table. An hour later I decided to go and drink some mineral water, came out of the bedroom and saw: our cat was sleeping on the table, lying with his face stuffed in a fish salad. How warm and pleasant my soul felt. At least someone in the family honors and observes New Year's traditions.

Bandit couple.

Some friends offered us a dog. We picked her out of the kindness of our hearts, but there is no way to support her, constant business trips. At that time we had a cat, Fluff. Healthy, half-Siberian, fighting cat. But we still decided to take the dog. Alma, as the dog was named, was still a young Caucasian Shepherd. But in what form! Thin, shabby, skin and bones. Fluff, despite the fact that the dog, although underfed, is much larger than him, decided to show her who is the authority and master in the house. In short, poor Alma spent several days basically living, or rather existing, under the closet. How did it fit there? Fluff periodically walked near the closet and growled at the poor dog, letting her know with all his appearance that he had never torn such people to shreds. But time passes, the rummaging of the closet slowly stopped, and one day Fluff brought Alma a measuring piece of sausage. In short, they huddled together and began, as they say, without spilling water. Alma has fattened up, gained weight, her fur is shiny, it’s nice to look at. When Alma was taken out for a walk, Fluffy walked next to her. And if they let the dog off the leash, then the cat would lead in and beckon it somewhere with its “meow” all the time. And Alma, it’s normal, where the cat goes, so does she. Since then, Fluff has become the coolest cat in the yard. And try, what a mongrel, bark at him when such a car accompanies him from behind. But one day, this couple, naturally led by the cat, ran off somewhere from the yard. We even started to worry. But after a couple of hours they returned, with Alma carrying a decent piece of beef in her teeth. A few days later, I met a friend of mine who told me an interesting story. Near his house, on the street, some cooperators were selling meat. I forgot to say, this happened in the nineties, when spontaneous markets were on every corner. So, at first, some impudent cat was hanging around the boxes with pieces of meat, which was naturally scared away. But, after him, a Caucasian shepherd dog came, grabbed a rather frail piece of meat and slowly left, accompanied by that impudent cat. The sellers only had enough time to shout: “Who is the owner of the dog? Disgrace!”, and so on. There were no heroes to take away meat from a Caucasian Shepherd. Well, at our small family council we decided that we need to be more careful in letting Alma go “free swimming”, and in general we need to control this gangster couple.

Not a grateful beast.

As everyone knows, cats and dogs are not very friendly, but they get along quite well under the same roof. They simply pretend not to notice each other, trying not to cross their paths. In short, this is military neutrality. In one simple city apartment, there also lived a cat and a dog. Well, as expected, their Cold War proceeded sluggishly. There were two bowls in the kitchen, in one for the cat whiskey, and in the other, respectively, pedigree for the dog, the animals ate at the same time, but with such an air as if there was no enemy, not only in the kitchen, but in general in nature there is no exists. Periodically, of course, during unexpected and unplanned collisions, the dog growled, as befits a cat, and she hissed menacingly in response. Everything is as it should be. But, one day, the owner, at the urgent request of his wife, purchased an electric dryer. The cat, like all cats, considered that this purchase was made only for her needs and decided to sleep in it. The owner, not suspecting anything wrong, turned on the unit and, of course, left. After some period of time, the dog, who did not feel love at all, what is there love, even friendly feelings for the cat, apparently decided that the Middle Ages with its bells and whistles was already too much. He burst into frantic barking and began jumping near the devilish machine. Well, he’s not an inquisitor, after all. The owners, of course, realized what their dog wanted, but they didn’t understand why. They opened the dryer and almost got a visit from Kondraty. And here is the cat, an ungrateful creature, and continues to hiss at the dog.

Home…sweet home

One family bought an apartment (they exchanged a smaller one for a larger one), and the previous owners moved according to the same principle to a neighboring house. While we were filling out the documents and moving, we became friends and started communicating. And now the long-awaited moment - the first night in a new home. The owner wakes up to hear a cat meowing nearby. He opens his eyes and sees a handsome red-haired man sitting next to the bed and looking at the sleeping family with such a demanding gaze. Like, what a disgrace, I’m hungry, but everyone is sleeping. The still half-asleep woman automatically goes to the kitchen, opens the refrigerator, takes out milk and pours it into a saucer. And then suddenly the question pops into my head: where did the cat even come from here?

Upon arrival, there were no animals in the apartment, the door was closed. Balcony! It was open at night. This means the cat got inside through him. At the family council they decided that this was probably the “Vaska” of the previous owners, and out of habit he came to the old apartment after a night walk. The assumptions turned out to be true. The old residents arrived and took the pet. The find was celebrated by getting together and drinking beer, and then they parted ways. And everything would be fine if history did not repeat itself the next morning. The cat stubbornly did not want to understand why he should now live in another place if everything suits him in this house. Groundhog Day continued for another six months, until the cat agreed to exchange the old living space for a new one.

Buried cat 'resurrected from the dead'

Norman with his owner Karen Jones Photo: SWNS

This happened in Ashford, Kent. The grief-stricken owner, who had been crying after the death of her cat Norman, suddenly discovered that she had not buried him.

Karen Jones and her family were stunned: about a day had passed after the funeral when their black cat appeared in the kitchen and started drinking tea. “We couldn’t believe it,” she explained. “We just grabbed him in our arms and started hugging him. At first I thought that the cat had risen from the dead, but it was clear that the fuss was absolutely incomprehensible to him.”

It dawned on Mrs. Jones that it was not Norman who was on the road. The dead cat, hit by a car, just looked like their pet, so she buried the other animal. “Then I realized: it was probably someone else’s cat. We were in an incredibly emotional state because we had been grieving all day, but suddenly we switched from tears of sadness to tears of joy.”

Karen Jones next to the black cat's grave Photo: SWNS

The owner even ran into the garden to see if Norman had dug himself out of the ground. “The whole family is just glad he’s home,” she stressed. Mrs Jones hopes the owner of a cat buried in her garden can be found.

Unequal compensation

Aunt Valya, a kind-hearted woman, had a dacha where she lived every year in the summer. The neighbor's cat Valet loved to come and visit her, because she treated him with open sympathy and very pleasantly scratched him behind the ear. They lived in such a friendly idyll for more than one season, and everything suited everyone. By the way, the cat was very clumsy and lazy, and during his cat life he managed not to catch a single mouse. Why bother if you are already well fed.

One fine summer day, Valentina Ivanovna, having received her pension, was delighted to buy a charmingly large salmon and put it on the veranda. Several recipes were spinning in my head, and the woman went into the house to get a cookbook. Returning to the street, she froze in place at the sight she saw - the Pilot was inspiredly finishing the fish, absolutely not ashamed of his action. And this despite the fact that he had never been caught stealing before. The woman could not stand such open rudeness, shouted at the cat and drove him out of the yard.

Half an hour later, Aunt Valya, having calmed down and cheered up, told her neighbor, the owner of the tailed thief, about the incident. Having laughed together at this story, the women heard a rustling sound and turned around. A cat came into the area and walked importantly towards the pensioner. He had a mouse in his teeth! Approaching her feet, he defiantly placed the mouse next to her, and his eyes read, “Here’s your compensation. And it was worth shouting like that because of some kind of fish.” He came to visit more - apparently he was very offended.

Buy food!

There are difficult financial times in every family when you need to tighten your belt and temporarily switch to economical mode. This is exactly what happened in the Ivanov family. And the first thing that the changes affected was nutrition. Of course, I had to cut down on delicacies not only for myself, but also for the cat. So, instead of whiskey, a regular soup appeared in the bowl, albeit cooked in chicken broth. The Marquis was clearly not ready for this state of affairs, and was not going to put up with the situation that had arisen.

The cat went on strike. He looked at the “strange” food with contempt, asking with his appearance:

- And this is what I have to eat now? For mercy, gentlemen, what kind of gastronomic slop is this?

To which he was given a laconic answer:

- Alas, there is no money for your canned food now. We'll have to make do with soup and sausage. Get used to regular homemade food.

The Marquis left the kitchen in disgust and defiantly ducked under the sofa. And literally half a minute later, a ten-ruble coin flew out from under the sofa, launched by powerful cat paws. This is character!

Mystery surrounds the arrival of newborn kittens in prison

People spend their lives trying to get out of prison, but for a cat, this institution turned out to be the perfect place to hide six newborn kittens.

The tiny babies, along with their mother Agatha, were found in a truck near Parc Prison in the city of Bridgend, located in Wales. The cubs who had illegally entered “behind bars,” who were named after famous but fictional detectives, were imprisoned, or rather, put under arrest.

Six newborn kittens found alive and well in prison Photo: Athena Pictures

However, the mother of Jessica, Sherlock, Christie, Marple, Kojak and Morse turned out to be clever and slipped out of the “clutches” of the guards. "The kittens were easy prey, but the mum was more agile and, despite help from prison staff, she managed to get away," Bridgend Cat Welfare Society deputy manager Kelly Matthews said.

Their behavior was good, but the kittens were very demanding: day and night they had to bottle feed the tailed prisoners every two hours. In the end, the babies found a new mother, and the happy offspring of the sneaky cat fed on their own the next day.

All the little ones are healthy, but the history of the appearance of cats in prison remains a mystery.

And God sent a cat

This funny story was told in one TV show, and then went to the people in the form of an anecdote. There lived a priest in a village. An ordinary priest who left the house one morning and found his beloved cat in a tree. The poor fellow meowed with fear, but flatly refused to descend from the branch on his own. To save his pet from death and save his neighbors from heart-rending screams, the priest came up with a cunning combination.

He decided to tie a rope to a branch and then bend the tree using a car as a tractor. The idea was good, but the rope turned out to be weak and broke at the very moment when the branch almost touched the ground. The catapult came out with a bang, and the cat instantly disappeared over the horizon.

A mother and daughter lived in the same village. The girl really asked to give her a cat, but every time she received the answer:

- Ask God. Maybe he will hear you and do what you want.

By a happy coincidence, while the cat was performing aerobatic maneuvers in the air, the family was just having another conversation about buying a cat. The little daughter, on the advice of her mother, began to pray intensely, when suddenly a desperately meowing “gift” flies into the window. Everyone is shocked, including the cat. And how can you not believe in miracles after this?

Jokes about cats and cats

How the cats squeezed out Sevastopol We lived with two cats, one red, the other tabby. Or rather, the ginger cat is ours, and the tabby cat is my mother’s. Our ginger cat is lean and fluffy, and his fur is a bright yellow-red color with white markings. For this color he was named Orange. My mother’s cat was a mosh breed, shabby-striped in color, unusually fat, and bore the nickname “Vasik,” which was unusual for a cat.

In the summer these cats go to the countryside. For people who left their homeland a long time ago, I explain that a dacha is a place where city residents, in particular Muscovites, lead an alternative lifestyle, cultivating garden beds and occasionally organizing barbecues (something like a barbecue, but more severe). The dachas are located in the SNT gardening partnerships, and each such partnership is a freely governed republic behind a chain-link fence, with its own board.

In our partnership, the houses stood on plots of 6-7 acres, grouped into groups of 6-10 houses, and between them there were paths for the passage of vehicles. Avenues and streets, so to speak. In honor of the notorious place, the longitudinal streets were considered “lines” and, in accordance with geography, abutted a huge pond. The transverse ones were called “passages” and not “prospects”, because after all it was a pond, not the Gulf of Finland. Since the partnership is departmental, the lines were named after Russian cities. They were named before the 1991 revolution, and therefore, along with the lines “Novgorod”, “Omsk” and “Petersburg (?!)” there were also “Kyiv” and “Sevastopol”. Please don’t blame me, this is how it happened historically, and they didn’t rename it.

Now let's move on to cats. Our cats were fat, arrogant and friendly, but they only went to the dacha at the end of May, together with the children. But in the lodge, where the watchman lived all year round, there lived three skinny and angry local cats. Since the locals spent the winter here in the plots, they considered all the neighboring plots theirs. The gatehouse stood on the “Petersburg” line, our site was on the “Novgorod” line, and between them there was a non-cat site on the “Sevastopol” line.

First week after arrival. Both cats are sitting in the house. They only go out for a walk by stealthily, circle around the foundation of the house, and run back. Orange does the work - Vasik covers his back, and vice versa. They are afraid of evil cats.

Week two. Our cats got tired of huddling close to the house, and they decided to start defending the territory. But the “St. Petersburg” cats are angry and lean, and our “Novgorod” cats cannot defeat them in an open fight. Therefore, our cats became a friendly couple to attack single strays on their property, and then immediately ran for help. That is, Vasik rushes at the cat, and Orange runs to the house and calls his grandmother with heart-rending screams. The grandmother runs out with a broom and hits a passing cat. Then the two of them (without the grandmother) drive the St. Petersburg resident to the Sevastopol station and hiss at him, after which they hide in the house. For the next fight they change (not with the grandmother, but with Vasik and Orange).

Week three. We are watching. An orange flag flutters among the grass - Orange's tail, behind it Vasik waddles like a ball. The Novgorod militia goes around its territory. Other people's cats sit on the “Sevastopol” fence and hiss, but they don’t get into a fight, they’re afraid of grandma’s broom. It is very convenient to maintain territory in a gardening partnership; all boundaries are marked with fences. So, the patrol goes around its area, the enemy sits on the commanding heights of Sevastopol.

Week three. I don’t know how it happened, but almost without a fight, our cats took control of the border lines. I look out the window, and there Vasik is already sitting on the fence. Angry cats walk under the fence in Sevastopol, but they walk silently.

A month has passed. Fights began in a neighboring area, but with almost the same tactics. The battle begins in “Sevastopol”, and then the “St. Petersburg” cats run under the cover of a broom and brazenly lick themselves while sitting on the fence.

A month and two weeks. “Novgorod” cats brazenly walk on two fences, both their own and the “Sevastopol” one. When strangers appear, they hiss and spit on them from above, and the “Petersburgers”, with their tails between their legs, go to other areas. Victory! Fanfare!

It’s a pity, in winter the territory will again go to the enemy, and next year everything will have to start all over again.

Bandit couple

There was a cat in one family. No, he didn’t just live, he reigned supreme. And then, to his misfortune, the owners took pity on the stray dog and took it into the house. The foundling turned out to be a young Caucasian Shepherd dog - thin, unhappy and tattered. They named her Alma. An impudent Siberian cat named Fluff immediately went on the offensive and drove the poor dog under the closet, where she sat for several days and was afraid to move.

As time passed, the cat changed his anger to mercy and decided to accept the dog as a friend, graciously bringing Alma a piece of sausage as a sign of reconciliation. The animals became friends, and they became inseparable. The ringleader in this company was, as you might guess, a cat. He imposingly and boldly walked around the yard, showing with all his appearance who was the boss here. And no one objected to this course of events, because they did not want to get involved with the huge shepherd dog that was following Fluffy on his heels.

One day this sweet couple disappeared somewhere and appeared only in the evening. A large piece of beef was dragging in the dog’s teeth, and the cat’s eyes sparkled triumphantly. As it turned out later, the theft took place several blocks from the house. Some cooperators were selling meat on the street - this was in the hungry 90s. Eyewitnesses told how a cat appeared from around the corner, approached the tray and began to hover around the meat. They chased him away, but then a dog ran “into the arena,” grabbed the largest piece, and ran away, accompanied by that same impudent cat. No one had any desire to take away the trophy, looking at the impressive size of the Caucasian Shepherd Dog. Since then, the gangster couple has become a local celebrity, repeatedly committing predatory raids on market traders.

Toilet inspector

Like people, animals also have “cockroaches” living in their heads—sometimes very unusual and unpredictable ones. The cat Murka also experienced a slight imbalance, and one fine day she simply refused to drink water from the drinking bowl. For some reason, it seemed to her that the water in the toilet was much tastier, and the process itself was much more exciting. The owners were not prepared for such a turn of events and tried in every possible way to wean the cat from this habit. But nothing helped. She successfully “survived” all the flavors and repellents and even learned to open the hinged lid herself.

As soon as someone locked the door to the toilet, Murka began to scream heart-rendingly and scratch herself at the door. She seriously decided that the toilet had now become her private property, and no one had the right to infringe on her drinking water. After leaving the restroom, she frantically began to carry out an inspection - she sniffed the seat and jumped up, checking whether there was any water left inside. Well, if she smelled a bad smell, she made crazy eyes, which literally meant: “Have you gone completely crazy here? This is my territory! Why are you thinking about crap here?”

Thoughtful Terrorist

Courtyard cats, due to their heightened survival instinct, are much more likely to show resourcefulness and ingenuity in communicating with people. Just such a thoughtful “comrade” was Philemon, a big fluffy cat who lived in the entrance of one house. Unlike other homeless animals, weak, thin and defenseless, he had thick, well-fed sides and openly enjoyed life. Such a carefree and well-fed “picture” of life was preceded by a whole series of events, which cannot be called an accident. More like a clearly planned theatrical play.

A dark vestibule served as the stage where all the events unfolded. The light fell there only from the stairs, and when someone went inside, they found themselves in semi-darkness. The cat quickly scurried under his feet, exposing his butt to the blow of the door. From the outside it looked very painful, as evidenced by Philemon’s desperate cries. But in fact, he skillfully dodged, and the door itself barely touched his body. Frightened passers-by, seeing the suffering of the poor animal, tried to compensate for their carelessness with some tasty treat. Over time, the residents of the house saw through the cat’s acting, but this fact did not prevent them from continuing to feed the cunning one and taking him into collective custody.

Detective investigation

The story happened to one young girl. It all started when things started disappearing from her apartment. And not simple ones, but golden ones. Either the chain suddenly disappears from a prominent place, then one earring is missing, or the bracelet disappears into the water. Adding to the strangeness was the fact that Katya lived alone, apart from her cat - her husband went on a long business trip and was supposed to return only in a few months. While discussing the situation with work colleagues, many versions were discussed: from simple forgetfulness and inattention to mysterious thieves and aliens.

The disappearances would have continued if one colleague had not suggested placing a car DVR in the house. No sooner said than done. The necessary equipment was lent by the same savvy colleague. Imagine the surprise when the recording finally caught the malicious attacker at the crime scene. It turned out to be a cat, who very professionally opened a jewelry box, pulled out another interesting thing (in her opinion) and disappeared from the viewing area with the prey. Subsequently, all the missing jewelry was found under the cat's bedding, and the whole team laughed for a long time at the antics of the tailed thief.

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They say cats get used to the house. Probably, each of us has heard stories about lost cats and returning cats. The ones who travel incredible distances to return home. To where they were loved and caressed... and even to where they were never loved. But still, this is home. Where everything is native. Native walls, dear people. So how does it happen that cats end up away from their own corner or away from their owners? And how do they return?...

The story of the cat Semyon, who was lost by his owners in Moscow and spent six and a half years traveling to his home in Murmansk, has probably gone around the whole world. In the 90s, a short film “Love Story” was shot on this plot. The Sinishin family simply adored their Thai cat, and therefore, when they were going to the southern regions on vacation, they had no thoughts of leaving Semyon at home: let him also bask in the southern sun! We spent our vacation wonderfully; on the way back we stopped in Moscow, not, of course, to show the cat the capital, but to get the Moskvich repaired: the journey was long. When we were leaving the city, we discovered that the cat was not in the car. They didn’t dare return because they didn’t know Moscow and decided that they wouldn’t find the yard where the car was being repaired. There were tears, mutual resentment that there were already four people in the car, and there was no one to look after the animal. But what can you do, over time, the grievances were forgiven, and, so that it would not be so painful to experience the loss, they got a new cat... We don’t know what the cat thought about his owners. He also did not know Moscow and, of course, the road to Murmansk. But he walked home, walked for six and a half years. The cat Semyon could not draw up a map of his journey, but even if his path was the shortest, he covered two thousand kilometers, about a kilometer a day. How he ate and how he avoided all dangers is also unknown, but one day a dirty and thin creature began to bang on the Sinishins’ door and meow loudly. When they let him in, the creature instantly slipped into the kitchen to a familiar bowl, and having had his fill, just like many years ago, he jumped onto his favorite resting place - the TV.

In 2004, the two-year-old cat Kuzya made an unprecedented trek across the expanses of Yakutia. In three months he covered a distance of 2150 km. The cat lived in the house of the Efremov family in the village of Olenek. At the beginning of last summer, his owners took him to Yakutsk. However, the cat did not like being in the noisy city, and he ran away. Having stopped their futile search, the Efremovs returned to their home village.

Three months later, in the evening, on the threshold of their old house, they saw Kuzya. The cat was emaciated, shabby and feral, there were bite marks on the tail, and the claws were worn out. “We noticed that the cat now walks stealthily, hides and seeks shelter,” Boris Konstantinovich Efremov said about his pet. — The cat walked to his native land through the taiga forest, over hills, passes, and crossed numerous rivers and lakes. I can't imagine how he did it.

* * *

The journey of a cat from the Sverdlovsk region named Chapa, whom his owners took with them when setting off to the Black Sea in a Zhiguli, turned out to be very interesting. In the city of Volsk, Saratov region, he fell behind the car of his owners, who set off further without him. After his vacation, Chapa returned to his native village to the door of his apartment. The four-legged “tourist” walked more than one and a half thousand kilometers.

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The cat Lisa from Norway became famous for her devotion to her owner, who, having gone from Oslo to visit her fiancé’s family, took the cat with her. Here the owner left Lisa, since conditions did not allow keeping her in a city apartment. A few months later, Lisa, emaciated, dirty, hungry, appeared in front of the doors of her former home, having walked about six hundred kilometers. On the map, this route runs across the entire country - from the North Fjord to Oslo.

A resident of the American city of Detroit, J. Brock, took her beloved cat Tom with her to the mountains, as she was leaving for a long time. Tom apparently did not like it in the mountains, and on the very first day he disappeared. As it turned out, I went home. I arrived there safely seven months later, having traveled 490 km across the United States.

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For a whole month, the Emelyanov family from Krasnoyarsk did not see their cat Sonya. All this time, Sonya walked through the forests and bad weather to the native porch of her owners, who left her to die 30 kilometers from Krasnoyarsk. “We are not flayers,” Katya blushes. “It’s just that my son Vlad, he’s two years old, was diagnosed last winter with asthma and an allergy to cat fur. My husband and I were very scared for his health: how would he get along with Sonya? We decided to give her into good hands. Advertisements were posted around the city. All in vain. Who needs an adult cat? Then my husband Vanya put Sonya in the car and took her to her relatives in Yemelyanovo. Not far from Drokino (30 kilometers from Krasnoyarsk), my husband stopped on the road, so to speak, out of need. She says that at that moment Sonya jumped out of the car window and walked across the clearing towards the forest. He didn't stop her, turned around and gave the gas. He returned without Sonya. He told me everything. We cried. The first time my son called Sonya, he looked everywhere, it was painful to watch. And how surprised the owners were when, a month later, someone scratched their claws at their door. We looked out. Their Sonya was sitting on the porch. Shabby and pregnant. “My husband and I couldn’t believe our eyes. How she was able to find her way home, Katya is still in shock. - Count it, 30 kilometers to the city and another 10-20 to the house through forests, fields, residential areas. Unreal! The first thing we saw about Sonya was opening a can of her favorite sprat in tomato. She emptied it in one sitting. Sonya and I will never be apart again.

A year ago, Saratov student Dima Balashov decided to relax in Gelendzhik. There was no one to leave the cat Dymka with, so Dima took her with him. We settled together in the private sector. “She went out into the street in Saratov too,” the guy told us. “So I wasn’t worried about her.” Dima spent time with friends on the beach and discos. The cat is in the yard of the house. This went on for two weeks. But one day the Haze disappeared. Dima searched all the surroundings, but the cat disappeared into thin air. There was nothing to do - I had to leave for Saratov. At home, Dima could not find a place for himself - he thought about Dymka all the time. And suddenly I saw her in a dream. “I dreamed of a platform covered with snow,” says the young man. - And there Smoky sits on a snowdrift and meows pitifully... Several months have passed. Dima started cleaning the house. The windows were wide open, Dima put on his headphones and turned on the music at full volume. “Suddenly I feel something soft on my leg,” the guy laughs. “I lower my head and see that… my cat is sitting next to me!” This is incredible! After all, there are 1500 kilometers between Gelendzhik and Saratov! Now Dima no longer takes his cat on trips. And in general, he doesn’t want to go far at all - what if the cat gets offended and leaves?

* * *

The Kiev cat Glafira, having escaped from her owners in the Crimea in the summer of 2001, then set off to catch up with them. She walked for six months, covered more than a thousand kilometers, wore out her paws and lost half her tail, but returned home!

In France, the cat Pompon once became famous in the same way, having covered a distance of 900 kilometers and came to his owners in Fontainebleau. Then the newspapers told about another brave “Frenchman”. His name was Milush, and he traveled with his owners in a car. The cat ran away on the road, but after 11 months he returned home: thinner, exhausted, with worn-out paws. Well, the record was set by his fellow Australian, Pussy. The owner, having gone on vacation, took the cat with him. Fascinated by the delights of rural life, the cat did not want to return home so quickly, getting lost in the surrounding area. A lot of time passed before a thin and very weak creature, who had traveled 2,400 kilometers, appeared on the threshold of his home. “When I called him by name,” said the owner of the traveler cat, “his eyes lit up and he purred loudly.”

* * *

The cat Gribouille from the French city of Tanny demonstrated rare devotion to his ungrateful owner, who gave him to a friend in Germany. The faithful Gribuy fled from his new place of residence and a year later, having traveled 1000 km, he came under the windows of his house.

* * *

But if the return of cats to the place of their former home can still be somehow understood, then the case of the Persian cat Sugar plunges us into a real mystery. This luxurious Persian lived with his owners in California until they moved to Oklahoma. During the move, the cat disappeared. The owners decided that the cat jumped out of the back seat of the car during another refueling at a gas station. They discovered his absence only a few hours later, so they did not return and look for Sugar. It's been 14 months since the family settled in Oklahoma. And suddenly one day the cat calmly appears in the kitchen through the open window. If Sugar had the gift of speech, he could rightfully ask a rhetorical question: “Were you expecting?” And indeed, they didn’t wait. After all, even knowing many stories about returning cats, it is simply impossible to understand how Sugar discovered his owners’ new home in an unfamiliar place - after all, he had never been to Oklahoma!

Despite the fact that the next feline, returning to her home, covered only 25 kilometers, this case must be considered even more unique (it is described in Jean Pierre’s book “The Soul of Animals”), because the cat that walked this path was blind. Her name was Amado, and she belonged to an elderly farmer from Provence. One day this farmer felt bad and, thinking that her days were numbered, decided to take care of her blind friend.

The woman took Amado to her friend, who lived 25 kilometers from her house, on the other side of the Rhone River. 15 days have passed. The elderly farmer’s bad assumptions did not come true, and she, continuing to live alone, was confident that Amado had been with a friend all this time. Suddenly, one day, plaintive moans were heard under the door. Opening the door, the owner saw her poor blind cat. She looked exhausted, but then she appeared and crossed her native threshold. How was blind Amado able to find the way to her home? Her return will seem simply incredible if we take into account that in the entire area there was only one bridge across the Rhone River...

The ability of cats to find their way home or to their owners has been of interest to people for a very long time. Many scientific studies have been conducted to find out how they do this. Perhaps the first person to become interested in this issue from a scientific point of view was zoologist F.G. Freak. This happened at the very beginning of the 20s, when he personally encountered a similar phenomenon. His cat escaped from his bag when they were eight kilometers from home. The pet returned home in the evening of the same day. The zoologist was intrigued. A plan for a scientific experiment matured in his head. He began to take his cat to different places, within a radius of one and a half to five kilometers. The faithful Murka invariably found her way home.

After Frick, similar studies were carried out by many scientists, sometimes striking in their inhumanity. Thus, American researchers, before taking cats away from home, drugged the unfortunate animals so that they would somehow not remember the way home. Incredibly, the cats always came back.

To date, no exact answer has been found to how these animals find their way back or their owners who have moved to a new place. One of the most likely hypotheses is the sensitivity of cats to changes in the magnetic field. The tissues of this animal include a large amount of iron, which forms a kind of internal compass in the body. To prove this hypothesis, an experiment was conducted - strong magnets were attached to the bodies of cats. In this case, the animals began to wander and stray from the right path. However, a completely reliable, generally accepted answer to this question has never been given. How a cat finds its home or owners still remains a mystery. Or perhaps the answer is simple: cats just know how to love and remain faithful to what (or who) they have become attached to once and for all...